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Our friends for over two decades, who has overcome many hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she has been constantly taken by surprise by people. Her partner walked away, which came as a massive blow. Several of her friends vanished then, because they seemed drawn to her husband. It shocked her. She made more effort to be my friend, probably grasped more acutely the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Over the years, many in her circle have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. Her previous job became hostile, although she was an excellent employee, she departed unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, but I am finding the part I play between us feels one-sided. I start discussion points only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. Politically, she has unyielding views. I try to propose verifying facts and different perspectives.

She's been planning a holiday to a nation I know well many times and resided in previously. I attempted to offer personal experiences, but this was met with resistance. She purely just desired my agreement with her choices. I recently returned from a month in that place and she wants to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, however, I feel she'll truly understand the effect of her actions on how I feel about myself. Right now, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. However, addressing it aiming for working things out requires bravery and willingness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. The second is to tell how this affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no dispute here. Emotions belong to you, naturally. Finally is to question how you are both will alter the interaction between you."

Remember that she also has a point of view, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. One effective method is to say to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will listen without interrupting for a set time."

This can be successful in fostering understanding.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject all you say, as some people have a deep-seated story: they maintain a story of their life they're unable to release since their identity depends upon it and it represents they've known. It's tough as there is no clear path here, mere obstacles. However, she might at first react this way and then think about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have closure from having been open and direct.